Waking Dream: Nightmare Fall

Who knew that life can change so fast? I don’t know if I had died or what really happened.

I remember being on a sidewalk in a well-manicured neighborhood, leaning against my car. I take in the scenery as I smoke a cigarette, from the two storied house before me to the recently cut lawn. I remember smiling as my eyes follow a white wooden fence, the systematic pattern of space between wooden spokes. I even remember the scent of the cigarette and its taste, while my eyes continue to admire the blue and white walls of the house.

I turn away from the house, glancing up and down the street as my free hand reaches for the handle of my red, two door sports car. I duck as I lean inside the car, smashing the cigarette butt into the built in ash tray. With that done, my hand dives past the middle console between driver and passenger seats, finding the bouquet of flowers I had brought. I gingerly pick it up before bringing my body back from inside the car. I close the car door and turn to once more face the house.

“She will be out soon,” I remember thinking. After a short sigh, my smile returns to my face. After only a moment, the front door of the house begins to open inward. At first I can only see the silhouette of a woman behind the door until it is fully opened. I smile even more as I take in her long, flowing red hair that frame a blushing, lightly tanned face. A bright smile beams from her face as she takes me in, and I thought I caught a glint in her greenish brown eyes from the twenty foot distance between us. A lilting, soft voice rings from her slender frame, letting me know she was coming. I was watching her blue and white dress flew around her as she turned to pull the door shut from behind her.

I blink and in place of the usual blackness of the motion I thought I caught a glimpse of something. As she begins to descend the stairs of her porch, I could feel my eyes get heavy suddenly. Each blink was longer than the last, and each time the scene within grew stronger, more vivid. As she gets nearer, her expression changes to concern, speeding up her moderate pace. She speaks but I do not hear her, and her hand reaches to touch my arm. Before she makes contact, I no longer can keep my eyes open.

Suddenly it felt like I was falling. My last glimpse of the world around me contained her beautiful face wrapped in sorrow and despair. It felt as though tears were streaming through my eyes but yet I had no longer a physical form. I
fell endlessly through a tunnel, it seemed, with no light or dark in it. Just the feeling of empty existence.

All I remember wanting in that peering moment of fright and despair was for it to end. And as suddenly as it had all started, it stopped and I no longer know what had become of me. I could feel my consciousness dissipating and the existence I once knew was gone. It felt cold, my essence draining from me slowly as what little of what was left in my mind began to sleep. And in that last moment I felt glad, and just wished the nightmare was over.

But it had only just begun.

This is the intro for a novel I had started about 2 and a half years ago and work on from time to time. I wanted to get some feedback about it and to see what people thought. Is it grabbing your attention? Is there some grammatical error? let me know.


Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s